“Don’t Wake n’ Bake then Ruin Your Day.”

One random Tuesday morning, I woke up feeling ill. Due to my extensive work load, I decided against calling off and instead opted to self-medicate with a morning smoke session. Prior to this moment, “wake n’ bake” was an infrequent treat I would only enjoy on weekends but had yet to partake before work. Anyway, I pulled out my stash, conveniently located inside my Garrett's Popcorn tin, sat on my balcony and rolled a cone. I smoked the entire joint and nibbled on a free edible I was given at the dispensary. As I drank my cup of ginger tea, I relaxed and listened to the white noise of the 405 a few yards away. It worked! The discomfort was manageable, my mood was boosted and my mind was refreshed.

As I began my day in the office, I placed my laptop on the dock and BOOM, no display! My second monitor would not turn on. At that moment, the meltdown began. I helplessly glanced over at my coworker for assistance then scurried to the bathroom in a panic. Did someone notice? Do I smell? I don’t feel well, maybe the weed didn’t help? Were just a few of the million thoughts running rampant in my mind. I had to go home. Why am I at work this high? Why did I think this was a good idea? I packed my belongings, grabbed my computer and told my boss I puked in the bathroom so I decided to return home to rest.

On my commute back, I reprimanded myself to tears. How did I just show up to work so stoned I couldn’t turn my computer monitor on? Did I think I was still in college and this behavior was acceptable? I was so ashamed of myself, I abstained from weed for two weeks as punishment.

I believe it was the little piece of cookie I ate that took me overboard. Next time, I’ll remember the billboard I saw in Colorado. “Don’t let a cookie ruin your vacation. Start low and take it slow." I understand.

“Don’t wake n’ bake then ruin your day.”


-The Yogi-Stoner

Mahogany Mary